i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
