come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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