Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
