I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
