haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
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