why didn't you poke me back
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
