You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
