Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
