I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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