girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
