making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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