the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
