Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You should frame my arrest warrant.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
