I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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