dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She told me I should be a condom model.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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