do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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