I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
nutella sex= disaster
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize