you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
