I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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