had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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