i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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