I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
