thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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