I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
