o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
