Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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