We're facebook friends in real life
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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