i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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