You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Randomize
