took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
