I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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