would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
