He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
