ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
