Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
