you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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