I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
where does the pee come out of this thing
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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