I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
