She's JV to your varsity
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
