just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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