can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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