I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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