this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
