you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
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