brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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