Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
