she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
