I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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