Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
