Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
