you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
